by Mike Manes

I have one word for all of you politically correct social activists out there whose hair stood on edge when you read the title above. RELAX! You’re jumping to conclusions based on emotions. The title doesn’t say what you think it does.

I grew up in the Old South and I’ve seen similar signs hanging in windows of retail stores, clubs, and doctors’ offices. These were wrong.

WHITE ONLY, however, could also be the healthiest way to eat an egg, my favorite order of Popeye’s Fried Chicken (Hot and Spicy), or the choice of dress shirts available to men working for IBM and SAFECO in the 1970s.

For purposes of this article, WHITE ONLY has a greater significance than your taste in food, dress codes, or even societal issues of equality. Today we’re talking about lies or the absence of them: honesty and integrity! As a civilization, what lies (if any) are we willing to accept? WHITE ONLY? Define WHITE.

From the legend of George Washington and his famous "I cannot tell a lie" dialogue with his father, through the facial distress inflicted on Pinocchio, to many parents’ admonition to their children — "don’t lie to me," our culture doesn’t accept lying.

Accuse a friend (or, God forbid, an enemy) of being a liar, and be prepared for:

1. Loss of a friend
2. A fight
3. A detailed explanation of circumstances (spin)
4. All of the above

We know lying is wrong. We don’t do it. We don’t condone it. Our society requires honesty. And when we must resolve conflicts peacefully (ours is a civilized society), we enter a courtroom and swear on a bible to "tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God." We live by the rule of law.

Now scroll down to the end of this article and take the Pop Quiz. [link to Pop Quiz below]

Now that you’ve been tested, do you feel as strongly about the "wrongness" of lying or the importance of telling the truth? Do you still believe that you’re an honest person? Do you always tell the truth (so help you God)? Is WHITE ONLY acceptable?

If you’re like most people who’ve taken the quiz, you’re a little more humble, somewhat embarrassed, and very uncomfortable with this journey of self-discovery. Here are a few more observations on lies, integrity, and relationships:

• As a teenager in the 60s my generation were "hippies." We said, "don’t trust anyone over 30," and "if it feels good, do it!" Simultaneously we promoted a less judgmental society that said, "there’s no right or wrong." We were sincere, enthusiastic, and unfortunately wrong. Right and wrong do exist.

• The headline in USA Today (July 16, 2002) read, TRUST – Americans Have Great Faith in Each Other, But Their Trust in CEOs, Big Business, Priests, and HMOs Is Slipping Away. This speaks volumes about where we are.

• Accountants and the anointed members of their fraternity — the CPAs— are moving lawyers, used car salesmen, and insurance people out of society’s prestige dungeon. Some now perceive them as "umpires who sold out."

• Enron, Arthur Andersen, World Com, Global Crossing, etc. are daily fodder for the talking heads on TV. How could they? The vast majority of their employees and stockholders perceived that their companies valued creativity, conscientious effort, capitalism, community, and competition. The "disconnect" was that the boards, leadership, and watchdogs (Arthur Andersen) knew that the real values were profit and perks at any price! This wasn’t about fraud; it was about a misunderstanding of corporate values. After all, there’s no right or wrong.

• When you work to build a family, a business, a church, or an organization, it’s essential to understand that values are the foundation of the entity. Make sure that everyone understands these values and agrees to abide by them. If you and the values don’t match up — leave. If someone else in the system can’t live according to these values, invite them to leave. Without congruence in values, social institutions can’t develop to their maximum potential and in all likelihood will self-destruct. Unmatched values are a lie.

• Think back to a recent Super Bowl and the riot that followed at the home city of the winner. Both events (the game and the riot) can be defined as violent, high intensity, dangerous, adrenaline driven, and emotional. The only difference was that the game had boundaries, rules, regulations, and a crew of referees to judge and enforce behavior. The riot was about a mob "doing its own thing" without restrictions, accountability, or consequences.

• Ask yourself where we’d be today if when Mr. Washington asked, "Is George responsible for cutting down the cherry tree?" George had answered, "it depends on what your definition of ‘is’ is." Would we be teaching our children the importance of "spin" instead of honesty?

• Finally, when your spouse asks, "do I look fat in this?" how do you answer — without lying?

For the purpose of this quiz, please use the following definition from Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary:

Lie – 1: to make an untrue statement with the intent to deceive 2: to create a false or misleading impression

1. Should people lie?
   

___ Yes ___ No (If you answer yes, go to question # 4)

 

2. If you answered no, are there exceptions to this rule?

___ Yes ___ No (If you answer yes, go to question # 4)

 

3. If you answered no, is it OK to lie about not lying?

___ Yes ___ No (If you answer yes, go to question # 4)

If you answered NO to all the above questions, turn in your exam. You made an "A."

 

4. What type(s) of lies should be allowed or acceptable?

___ WHITE (LITTLE) LIES ___ Important lies (to prevent trouble)

___ Lies about sex ___ Lies about personal matters

___ Lies to the IRS ___ Lies to insurance companies

 

4a. Answer this question only if you checked WHITE LIE in # 4 above — What are WHITE LIES?

___ Lies that keep from hurting people

___ Any lies that aren’t black (now define black)

___ Lies that the person lied to can’t discover are lies

 

5. When should we be able to lie?

___ Morning ___ Afternoon ___ Evening ___ Night

 

6. Who should be able to lie?

___ Adults ___ Teenagers ___ Children

___ Business Owners ___ Leaders / Managers ___ Workers

___ Clergy / Teachers ___ Celebrities ___ Politicians

 

7. Where should we be able to lie?

___ Home ___ Work ___ Church

___ Golf Course ___ Sports Stadiums ___ School

 

8. What should be the consequences of lying?

___ Rewards ___ Punishments ___ None

 

9. What are the actual consequences of lying?

___ Rewards ___ Punishments ___ None

 

10. Is "spin" lying? If yes, why? If no, why not?

Essay Exam: You’re the "boss." Based on your answers to these questions, explain, in very brief terms, how you’d address these issues:

• An employee lies on his expense account more than you do.

• The receptionist (and your mistress) is cheating on you and lying about it.

• You’re pocketing cash (avoiding taxes) and you’ve just discovered that an employee is stealing from you.